What I Really Want to Respond

I probably shouldn’t publish this, but then I will never believe Tuvia when he tells me later that I really wanted to say these things. Also, I know that if you said one of these things you probably had only the best of intentions, but I’m hormonal.

 

When you tell me “You don’t look that big”

I want to respond “You don’t look that ugly”

 

When you tell me “You’ll probably lose all the swelling once you give birth”

I want to respond “You probably won’t lose the stupidity though”

 

When you tell me “You don’t even look pregnant”

I want to respond “So I just look like I swallowed a two year old whole?”

 

When you tell me my unborn baby is cute

I want to respond that she’s probably not (strangers get offended by this), but neither of us can tell because she’s still IN MY BELLY

 

When you tell me “Woah, you look ready to pop”

I want to respond “I will be happy to start with your face”

 

Last pregnancy a lot of strangers were touching my belly and the last straw was at the grocery store when a lady put her hand on my stomach and asked if I was expecting so I put my hand on hers and asked “are you?”

 

For the record:

-if we are friends or family I’m usually thrilled to let you take part in this and feel my belly, but if you are a stranger at the very least ask me first!

-yes, I’m so excited it’s a girl, but I don’t think girls are better than boys and find it offensive when you say so. Seriously?

-Aiden is not ready to be potty-trained and I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world to have two kids in diapers, but I do think it’s completely ridiculous to push him to do something because it would be more convenient for me so…no, I’m not potty training him right now.

For more pregnant rants, come and visit! 

Anyone else have pregnant pet peeves? I LOVE hearing them!

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4 thoughts on “What I Really Want to Respond

  1. My student asked when I was due. When I told him, he sighed in relief and said “oh good, I was nervous you wouldn’t be around to help me for the final paper.” Glad we can make this all about you, freshman boy.

  2. For me it’s the labor horror stories or an older sister who’s all isn’t pregnancy the best!?! Take your pick. Actually, scratch that. Older sisters are the best. Good talk.

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